Christmas Day

Our Christmas this year was definitely better than last year! I was a little worried about Christmas this year just because it fell on my week to work and we wouldn't have a nurse to watch Caydence at night so that meant that Eric would be staying up with her at night while I was working. Thank goodness Eric's mom had some baking to do Christmas eve night so she was able to keep an eye on Caydence while Eric got a little sleep. I was able to get someone to switch a night with me so I didn't have to work Christmas night too. When I got home Christmas morning I had some wrapping to finish up so I was in the living room doing that and watching Caydence and sure enough at 6am Tanner woke up and was ready to open presents. He never wakes up that early so I guess that meant he was just super excited. We got everyone out of bed and began to open presents. Tanner loved all the gifts that Santa brought him and Caydence had fun playing with some wrapping paper. Eric's mom cooked a good Christmas dinner and my mom came over and we all had a good time. I was so tired from staying up all night and not sleeping during the day that once I was able to get to bed that night I crashed! I can't wait till the day that Caydence doesn't need 24hr supervision. It would be so nice to be able to sleep when she sleeps and have somewhat of a normal life again. We can get so "frustrated" sometimes with all we have to do to just get through a day and we start thinking how much this sucks and how we wish we had a normal life again, but every time I look at Caydence I love her more and more and I can't picture our life being any different. Our life is crazy and we never have time to ourselves but it is what it is and we realize you can't just sit there and feel sorry for yourself. You have to keep going and do what you have to do and just look forward to that one day that things will be "normal". I can't wait to see Caydence grow up and see what kind of person she turns into. Soon enough people will see her and hear the stories we tell about what she has been through in her life and they won't believe us. I can't wait for that day! Hope everyone had a great Christmas and Happy New Year to you all!

Our Christmas last year

As Christmas gets closer I can't help but to think about our Christmas last year. Right before Christmas last year, December 20th to be exact, I went to the doctor for my routine 20 week check up and ultrasound. I went all by myself because Eric was busy working and we figured it would just be a quick visit anyway. It ended up not being just a normal visit and I really wish I would have had Eric there with me. As I was laying on the table and the doctor was doing the ultrasound he kept looking at one area on the baby. He wasn't saying much and I just knew he saw something that wasn't normal. He finally stopped the ultrasound and told me that he thinks that he sees an abdominal wall abnormality and I needed to go as soon as possible to get an ultrasound level 2 to confirm what he sees. So many things were going through my head and it took everything in me to not break down right there. I held everything inside as I waited for the receptionist to make my appointment for the ultrasound 2 which thankfully they got me in the very next day. As soon as I walked out of that office I called Eric and I think that's when I just about lost it. I was so scared to think that something could be wrong with my baby. Eric left work and met met at home where we began to Google abdominal wall abnormalities. The doctor didn't really explain anything to me about it because I really don't think he even knew much about it. We both couldn't sleep that night worrying about what we would find out the next day. We got up an headed to Stockton for the level 2 ultrasound. The ultrasound tech began looking at the baby and as she got to the abdominal area she confirmed what the doctor had seen. She had a large omphalocele that contained her intestines and part of her liver. As she moved along she began to look at the heart, I knew as soon as she stopped talking and was concentrating on the screen that something was wrong.  I remember looking at Eric and saying there's something wrong with her heart. I asked the tech and she said she needed to get the doctor to look at the images. She sent us to the doctor's office to wait for him. He came in and sat down and began to explain what was seen. He said that it looked like something was abnormal with the heart but they couldn't really tell what it was. He then started talking about the omphalocele and what the odds are with that. Most babies with omphaloceles had either heart defects or chromosome abnormalities or in some cases both. He told us all the worse case scenarios and I was scared to death. He recommended that we get an amniocentesis to check for chromosome abnormalities. He kept mentioning that we could always terminate the pregnancy and both of us said that was not an option if she had any chance of surviving. We agreed to the amnio and went into the next room to get it done. I was a complete wreck by that time and I really have no idea how he was actually able to get the huge needle in me and in the right place with me crying hysterically. They said it would be about 2 weeks for results. They also made us an appointment with a cardiologist in Sacramento to see what was wrong with her heart. After leaving that appointment I think both of us were just in shock. We had some answers but not really. All we could think about was what could be wrong and if the baby was even going to make it. The next week was Christmas and we had to put on our happy faces to make it a great Christmas for Tanner, but inside both of us were stressing more than anything. After Christmas we got the call that the amnio results came back and she had no chromosome abnormalities. That was a big relief to us but we still hadn't seen the cardiologist yet so we knew we weren't out of the woods yet. The next week we traveled up to Sacramento and met the cardiologist and he performed a long echo on the baby and finally when he was done he said that he did not see anything wrong with her heart and it was working just fine. We were so relieved and so happy knowing that her heart was good, (so we thought). Our drive home was great, we were just so happy that most of our fears were put to rest. All we had to worry about now was the omphalocele which we could handle. We didn't have to worry that our baby wasn't going to make it. I still had to switch doctor's to a specialist in Sacramento and we had to travel up there a lot for appointments but we were fine with that because every appointment the doctor said she looked great. I won't get into what happened after Caydence was born because I'm sure most of you know all about that by now. I am just so thankful that this Christmas we have all of us home together. We still have tons to stress about but at least we have our baby girl home with us instead of having no baby like we thought could happen at this time last year. Things at home now are crazier than ever, we are down to one nurse again, our day nurse quit on us, so we just have a night shift nurse. I started working night shift and Eric is also back to work working his butt off because it is the most busy time of the year for them. Tanner is out of control, I think all the attention his sister needs is finally starting to get to him. Caydence has been doing great as usual but I'm not going to lie and sugar coat it..She is a lot of work and it can definitely be stressful, especially when neither one of us is getting much sleep right now!! All in all, we are managing and doing ok. We will be going up to the Ronald McDonald house next week to deliver some presents which we are very excited about. We are especially excited about seeing our friends John and Shelley who's baby girl finally received the heart transplant she has been waiting months for. I hope everyone has a great Christmas and I thank all of you for you constant support.

This is our "Wishing Tree" at work for the Ronald McDonald House